Have you ever wonder what life is like to live in America for a typical family where both the parents are working and with kids?
I grew up from a big family, when I say big.. it's really big! I got 9 brothers and sisters. And yeah, I'm not originally from America.. from Asia. I never really knew what it takes to manage the family's schedule because help is always there. Come to think of it, I'm the youngest and my older sisters and brothers are always there to help my parents take care us - the younger ones. Morning is always busy prepping for school but everything seem to fall into place. Dinner is always a "buffet" because there is not enough table space for all of us, so we grap our food and find your own place within the house to eat. Ohhh... and during holidays, Christmas, New Year... forget it... our small house will be filled with lots of people and 30+ grandkids.
That was back then.. now it's my turn. I got married 7 years ago and now have 2 kids (two wonderful kids, I may add). When my husband and I planned on having kids, we said 2 or 3 seem to be the right number of kids for us. We have a lot of things to think about when we were at the "planning" phase. But one important thing that we didn't worry much was our family schedule and the fact that we're in America! We do not have relatives living around the corner, we have few friends, a handful close friends, but we thought we should be fine!
So what does our daily life really looks like? My husband alway has to leave early for work because he has a 2-hour commute (well don't ask me why his job is so far! I can have a totally separate blog for that). The idea is that, the mom needs to be well prepared before the kids get up. And you know us - ladies, the routine in the morning.. shower, make up, wardrobe just to name a few. So perhaps that's a good one hour for myself alone. After my husband leaves for work, I stay a little bit later at home to take care of the kids in the morning. Prepares the breakfast, feeds and dresses the kids, packs snacks, packs the backpack for the school and packs the bag for the daycare. Once everybody's ready,they get on the car.. (and don't foget the mess in the house.. the dishes, the laundry, the bed, still there but let's leave them for now). First stop, the daycare center! The first few months is a very hard one not just for her but for me as well. She cries a lot and doesn't want to be left there. I feel the same way too. For my son, since he is already attending school, we got two options. He can either take the bus or I can drive him to school. The bus normally arrives at 8:45 AM. And for a mom who has a full-time job, getting to work past 8:45 every day will get you a pink slip. So I just drive him to "before care". He stays in the school with all the other kids being dropped off early until the school starts. By this time, can you imagine how stressed and tired you are? And the day at work has not even started yet. I don't know about other jobs, but my job is stressfull too.
Now, at the end of the day, somebody needs to pick up the kids again. You need to leave work before 6PM or your kids will be kicked out from the daycare and "after school" program. Normally, 6PM is the latest that you can pick them up. So working overtime? Forget it.. you gotta plan your work between 9 and 5 sharp! So first stop in the afternoon, the daughter. Ohhh what a happy feeling to see your daughter trying to get out of the daycare to see you. At the back of my mind.. "Oh my god, are you my daughter?" She's so dirty, smelly and her nose (you know what I mean). So the next stop, my son at the school. "Oh hi!".. the teacher will normally great you. What comes after that might be something like.. "your son behave well today." or "you're son was a little chatty today..or yadi yadi yadi". You gotta listen but sometimes, I am just so tired that they went straight through the other ear.
When you get home, do you remember the mess that you left this morning? Oh well.. they're still there. They didn't go anywhere! You need to start cooking dinner, something quick and easy is better. No more gourmet food or else you'll spend the rest of your evening cooking. The kids will be playing, running around, making more mess, and all sorts of things while you're busy in the kitchen. Then I normally send them for shower and help them clean up. Then you need to do homework. And homework here in America is not just "a homework". Sometimes I need some help from google to find things and what they mean.. like what is a leprechaun trap! What is that? We didn't have that project before? Anyway, I normally spend one hour for homework alone. When daddy comes (only when he's not working late), we then eat dinner together. And there's dishes again after dinner. Then we send the kids to bed..
So far that's my typical day. On certain days of the week, there are extra curricular activities too! Soccer, swimming, tennis, and the like. But you get the picture, right?
For those of you who are currently contemplating on having kids here in America, think of what I just shared with you. But don't get me wrong.. yes it's a lot of work! But it's worth. The times that I spend for my kids are the best times of my life! But for some people I know, this is also the reason why they decided to live alone as a couple for the rest of their lives.
At the end of the day, it's your choice! It is the things that you value most that defines you and your family.
